I like to advocate for surrogacy. Mainly because I think people make such a fuss over birthing their own children in our community. I think helping couples who can’t have children naturally bring a child to the world, is one of the most wonderful gifts a person could give another.
But after watching only 2 movies on the topic of surrogacy and been exposed to issues I never would have thought could come up from it, my advocacy level may be reducing.
I just finished watching Mimi, a Bollywood movie on the subject.
An American couple travel all the way to India to find the perfect surrogate.
Mimi is a dancer with dreams of becoming a Bollywood star, money was what was keeping her back.
Along the pregnancy, a test result showed the baby in the womb could possibly have down syndrome. The American couple decided they can never keep such a baby.
The American couple in this movie are the most selfish people I’ve ever come across, in reality or in fiction.
A barren woman who had tried all attempts at having a child, is basically saying had she by some miracle got pregnant herself and given birth to a child with down syndrome, she wouldn’t have kept the child?
This couple did not think about the baby they wanted so badly. They didn’t think of the young woman and her dreams, of the consequences of living in a cultural place like India with a child outside marriage. They didn’t even have the decency to tell the pregnant woman to her face nor pay her the remaining amount of their agreement and fled.
A surrogate mother is no different from a regular mother. They go through all the things that pregnant women go through, and at risk of all the potential dangers. A surrogate mother could die during childbirth.
Yes the surrogate may be doing it for the money, but never forget the great sacrifice they are giving you.
As someone who believes in soul contracts and soul paths, I will also add that some people are just not meant to be biological parents. It is not a punishment or karma from a previous life, it’s just not something you intended to do for this incarnation.
Like this American couple, so a wrong information had to come up the one time they were actually going to become parents.
Mimi gave birth to a boy child, healthy without down syndrome. Her support system did not waiver but even grew stronger.
And the American couple still had guts to return after seeing videos of a healthy baby online to take their son back, after 4years!
Because the creators of the movie wanted to end it on a good note, the American couple adopted an Indian girl, leaving Mimi with her son, Raj.
I would have ended it differently. A couple struggling for a baby who would not keep their own child because he’s not perfect, do not deserve the joys of parenthood from any child.
To all women, if you can help someone through surrogacy, please do it. But ask all the ‘what if’ scenarios and have a plan or just be open to whatever for when things go wrong.
To couples that have to go through some other means to have a child, please and please again, if you know that for whatever reason, it is possible for you to reject your baby from a surrogacy deal, please do not use that option.
People in developing countries may be wanting for money and will seem eager to do anything for money, but we are still people. We feel and we struggle just as you do in your developed worlds.
In all your actions, especially when it involves others beside you, do think of them too.