Why I Stopped Going To Church

In all my 27years of life(with exception of a semester on campus), I’ve never liked church. I went to church to get people off my back.

That semester on campus, I joined a midnight prayer group, became born again and was really excited about church. I joined the ushering team of our church and was actively involved for like 2/3 of the semester. By the end of the semester I was no longer interested in it. I quit the prayer group when things started getting weird for me and after I was no longer a part of it, I realized a lot of the things were total BS.

From childhood I’d skip my fellowship meetings to play, I’d use my offertory to buy snacks.
When I started earning I made an effort to pay tithe, I stopped when I realized my money was not enough for me and I wasn’t giving it willingly anyway.

I’ve never been frequent at church. In most years, I could go months without attending.
I know some people feel real guilt when they miss church. I’m not one of those. People knew this about me. And as much as they thought it was bad on my part, they were okay with it.

Last year just about this time I decided I was quitting Church. I didn’t need to nor want to please others anymore. I meant quitting as in never attending again but for occasions like weddings or honouring an invite.
Meaning if people asked me whether I went to church on a Sunday or where do I fellowship? I’m gonna say I don’t go to church. Not just that I didn’t go the particular Sunday.

Not long after this decision my family visited another family and my sister mentioned to someone there how I don’t go to church.

This is the funny thing. People are okay with whatever one is doing as long as you are in the church. Not that they condone everything but they are not really worried or disturbed. But once you are out of the Church then your soul is certainly lost and they are very much concerned.

This can be done both within and without a church

This family member spent the entire time trying to get me to see why it was important to go to church. Even tried to use the horror death of Christ to blackmail me. I’m like why should I feel bad for the way Jesus died? I didn’t kill him.

Meanwhile there are so many other family members who are very active in the church yet do so many things that are just not right. We ignore all these others to focus on the one outside the church (the lost sheep is being defined here by not belonging to a church, and not by not being in God).

It’s like as long as you are in the church God will forgive your sins and so it’s okay. With time you will come around. Outside the church God can’t even see the many good you do, not to talk of forgiving the one sin of not going to church.

I’ve never believed that people who do not believe in Jesus will not go to heaven even if they are good people that love their neighbors.
Many Christians really believe that their Muslim neighbor who does all things right even by the Christian God will burn in hell because they chose to be a Muslim.

I stopped going to church mainly because I don’t like it. Simple as that.
Also because I disagree with so many things in the Bible or preachings at church. They do not resonate with me and no matter how I try to take it as The Word it still doesn’t sit right with me.

I have an understanding of Love, freedom/free will and forgiveness, and I’ve had that from a very young age. I was never taught that. I just knew it. And it guides me to discern for myself what fits Love’s reasoning. God killing innocent Egyptian babies to save Israel does not fit into that. And quoting the Bible as the justification of that is not acceptable by me.

Well I’m no one to reject the Bible or question it’s wisdom. I do value lots of other wisdom in the Bible and really love the teachings of Jesus Christ. I pretty much still identify as a Christian because I try to follow the teachings of Jesus.

I however don’t need to take everything the Bible says or everything everyone else says for that matter. That’s my decision to make and be it good or bad, it’s within my power and right to do that.

Love of God and neighbor is actually good enough. (LUKE 10:27-28)

I do believe in God, and in Jesus Christ as a teacher and big brother. I do not put the two and going to church together. I believe I can have a relationship with God without going to church, which I do have and love very much. I believe the will of God guides my path and I willingly surrender unto it.

I don’t think church is bad, no. Many of the things I learned outside of the Church(and that’s pretty much every post of mine to do with spirituality or self discovery), I’ve met people who learned it within the Church. It’s just not for me.

I still occasionally tell some(very religious) people I go to church so I won’t have to deal with the why’s and quotations and invites to church.

My mum asked me if I had any reason for not going to church and I said yes, that I don’t like it. Then she asked if I’m worshipping Buddha now 😂😂😂.
Told her no, that I still worship God, just don’t like church.

Many people after finding out about my relationship with Chinese and China think it has something to do with my mindset on religion. It doesn’t. I believe people have the right to explore their religious and spiritual desires and so religious intolerance is not something I agree with.

I respect all religions but also acknowledge that while there’s a lot of wisdom, there’s also a lot of crap. You can enjoy it all or stick to one without thinking your one is better than all the others. It’s not.

For the record I’ve never been abused or mistreated in a church. Whereas I do see things in the church that I disapprove of, I also don’t care about it. So I did not quit because of people’s errors(not for the hypocrites). I did not quit because I’m not getting promotions, name/fame, answered prayers from it.
I quit because I do not like it. And I wasn’t gonna continue going just because people expect it of me.

I also know that the church is not just the physical building but the gathering of God’s children. We are all God’s children, we exist in relationship with both believers and non believers outside the physical building. A church does not gather only when they are in the building. It’s what happens all the time people are together.

So that’s it. My soul is alright, don’t worry so much. If you do worry, then do pray for me. Prayer is always welcomed 😀. Don’t see me or message me and ask if I went to church the last Sunday, because I most likely didn’t.

Peace and love to all of you. I love you very much and a happy happy weekend.❤️✌🏾😍🥰🥳

15 Replies to “Why I Stopped Going To Church”

  1. Wow I admire your courage for saying it as it is, and taking that bold decision. I believe everyone has their own relationship with God and things work out perfectly just the way God wants them to. I know lots of people feel the exact same way, but for fear of disappointing family or loved ones, they will just stick to going to church anyway.
    To me, Christian or not, the most important principle to live by is LOVE.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There was nervousness around putting it out there but I’m glad I did. And you are right about love. If we can love each other irrespective of our beliefs, the world will be a much better place.❤️✌🏾

      Liked by 1 person

  2. What lives inside of you and gets projected into the world moment to moment will always mean more than any Church or formal organization. If it isn’t inside what I do outside will just be another social show. I really appreciate this post and your ongoing honesty. Be well.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Finally I have found someone who thinks in my direction. Lol. The society makes it look like you’re some devil incarnate when you don’t go to church I mean. Tsw.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. My sister, I am always happy to read your posts. Tods’s post is interesting … because I feel the same way and have said many of the same reasons to as many persons… my GOD is not contained in a building and He has shown up and shown out for me in the most unusual of places, never in the church building. I am not judging (or trying not to) but some of the things I witness in the church leave much to be desired, so I pray for discernment and I meditate on scriptures that speak to me and ask the Holy Spirit to minister to me and HE does.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah God does work outside the church building, those in it just choose to refute that to scare the individual into doing same as them. I’m glad you enjoy my posts as well. Have a lovely weekend.❤️✌🏾

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Tbh I like this post even though the perspective is from different religion. I’m Muslim and I do believe that I can pray wherever I am as long as I’m not in bathroom (in my religion, we have to pay attention on the time and places to pray. and bathroom is a forbidden place to pray). Cause God always keep an eye on what I’m doing even though I’m not in a mosque. Let’s respect each other choice.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. As someone who goes to church, I’ve definitely had trouble with it, and I guess you could call me a bit of a “church hopper,” but I really want to say thank you for sharing. Church can be anywhere, even online or informally. God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I sympathize with you. Church is good but it can also be overwhelming. Especially since hell gets too much attention in our churches. Sometimes pastors scare us attendees with their stories. Its not their fault, theyre just trying to help but they could benefit from avoiding situations which will scare anyone. When church becomes tiring, its good to vacation away from it. God meant for us to be family, not a religious work force. Come to or leave church, your still Gods child. Its your life and God would want you to enjoy living it in the ways that make you comfortable. This was a nice post, thank you.


    Liked by 1 person

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