For the longest time I had problem with accepting help from others.
I’ve always been very independent. Maybe a little too much. I like doing things myself and I expect others to do their own stuff too.
When in the university, I usually returned from the market with a heavy bag and walked quite the distance from the main gate to my hostel.
Sometimes guys will offer to help with the load but I will always refuse.
I also refused lifts offered on the road because I thought they were only offering because they think me too cheap to pick a car. Which is usually true, though I do also love walking.
I specifically refused to do things suggested to me by others so that they can’t take credit for it. For them to say somewhere that they gave me the idea, no.
Even if I had thought of the same thing on my own, once someone else verbalized it to me, I was gonna rebel.
In it all, simple truth is I had a very big ego.
The first thing that I became aware of that led me into this journey of self discovery was the presence of ego in me. And I was and am very grateful for that awareness.
Along the way I learned that giving and receiving is one in truth. This wisdom is commonly expressed in the message, ‘as you give so you receive’. Though different meaning from the explanation I’m going to give, it’s does teach that the two acts is indeed one.
And I experienced this truth, that giving and receiving is one when I started accepting help from others.
Just some weeks before the lockdown, I found myself at Spanner again in the evening, struggling to get a Trotro to Adenta, along with many others.
A gentleman drove his car to a stop in front of us and offered a ride to anyone going to Madina. I joined him, but no one else did.
So he asked me, “so none of those people are going towards Madina? “
I explained that we were actually going to Adenta, but I figured it will be easier to get a vehicle going there from Madina.
Of course the truth we both knew was that they were afraid to get into a stranger’s car.
This man was giving out love, it’s out of love that he offered the ride. Many other car owners have passed us by because they are also afraid of picking up a stranger. But he did not allow fear to undermine love, and offered. If no one had joined his car, the act of giving would not have been complete.
If someone gave you money and you don’t accept it, it is still with them. The money was not given. Thus no giving actually took place. It’s when what we offered is received that the act of giving is complete. Hence giving and receiving indeed is one.
For all those times that I refused assistance offered to me by my brothers and sisters, I rejected their love. I denied them the opportunity to give out love.
I have been accepting help more now. I enjoy getting halfway rides to work. I do love walking, but I walk a lot everyday on my route to work and the halfway rides does help me cool down before arriving at work. So what if the drivers think I am cheap? Yes, I am cheap.
I’m still quite independent and I love to do a number of things by myself.
I don’t ask for help often, nor do I offer assistance to others much.
But I’m making a mental note now to put in effort to change that.
Do not let ego and fear undermine love. If a strong instinct is not telling you otherwise, accept offerings made to you. Remembering that only when there’s receiving is the act of giving completed.
Thank you so much for reading, and have a lovely weekend.🥰❤️✌🏾💐🎉🥰