But who ever did evil in awareness?
_Anthony de Mello, The Way To Love
A big brother on here, Bryan Wagner of Visions of a People’s Dharma mentioned the book The Way to Love by Anthony de Mello under one of my posts and I made a note to get that book.
I am so grateful that I did, and I am grateful to Bryan for being a benefactor to me.
The above quote is one I came across in the book and the main idea for this post.
But who ever did evil in awareness? Seriously who? Have you ever thought about how people always blame their not so great actions on external forces?
“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”
“It’s the work of the devil, you know I will never intentionally harm you.”
“I was so angry and I just lost it(control), please forgive me.”
We hear this all the time, of course no one believes these ‘lies’. We believe we are responsible for our actions and should own it. But even with this in mind, sometimes we still end up with,
“I don’t know why I did it, I’m sorry.”
Have we ever given it a thought why everyone says these things when we all know it’s not true? Have we ever considered that they may be really saying exactly what they feel at that point and not be lying?
If you have ever been on the pleading end in such situations, did you really mean your words?
But who ever did evil in awareness? To be aware is to be in your true self. For your true self to be in control.
Whenever we feel like we’ve lost control, we are admitting something other than ourselves has taken charge over us.
Most times when people do the kind of things we’d call ‘evil’, there always is something other than oneself that blame can fall on, even when the person would rather believe it’s their own fault.
Sometimes it’s anger, greed, jealousy, lust, pride, etc.
Sociopaths harm because they are holding on to anger from all the wrong things done to them by someone who was also unaware.
Even science protects psychopaths by proving it’s not entirely their faults for being as they are.
Why do we need to understand that we are unaware when we do what is harmful? So we can forgive ourselves and others.
Noticed how easy it is to forgive someone once blame is taken off them? When we realize they were not fully themselves when they did what they did?
I watched an episode of Bull where a hypnotherapist controlled a young man to kill his own father. There was video evidence of him brutally hitting his father to death and was sure to be condemned. But when Dr. Bull and his colleagues proved He was indeed manipulated and controlled by another when he did that, he was found not guilty.
In most Ghanaian movies, it’s usually a man bringing his mistress to live with them, and he together with his mistress mistreat his wife and children. Later a pastor will come in and will expose the mistress who took the man to juju, thereby freeing the man of all guilt for those times and the wife happy to have her husband back, forgiving all his actions.
When we know people did not intentionally set out to harm us, we are able to forgive easily. And majority of us are not in awareness of who we are, controlled by a whole lot of ‘others’.
This is why Jesus said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
When the words of friends hurt me, I am able to let it go because I know they did not mean it the way I thought. That it was unintentional.
In ACOL, we are simply encouraged to observe the truth in our brothers at all times. What is the truth? That’s recognizing ourselves and others for who we really are. And who are we? We are Love, because God is Love.
Even when one does not believe in a God or that God is love, we can all agree that love is one thing we all yearn for all the time.
Love is not greater than anger or pride or fear, no. Love is not good and those other emotions bad, no. However it is simply a fact that it is who we are. I am a black person, that’s a fact. Doesn’t make me greater or lesser than those of other races.
Whenever we try to be other than who we are, we end up harming ourselves or others. If I bleach so that I’d become white instead of black, my skin will suffer.
However if I do succeed in changing my skin color to white, it will still not change the fact that I am black. People will still refer to me as a black person.
And that’s what we are to do. See people for who they really are always, and that is a perfect being like yourself and like your creator. A being who in truth abhors the same things you abhor.
A person who is aware of themselves, that is they know who they are is Love, will not rape somebody. And even when they do rape a child, they are still like you, just temporarily unaware. Lost control to lust.
Am I saying rapists shouldn’t get punished? No. We have our human laws to protect us. But justice in court does not really change anything at all.
If you can’t see the truth in your brother, though he’s behind bars, you’d still hurt and be angry and scared.
And if we don’t recognize the truth in ourselves, though we serve our punishment, we’d still hold on to guilt, possibly get more angry and probably do those wrongdoings again.
Sure we may still get angry even when we are aware. We’d still be afraid sometimes and maybe get jealous too. But before those things take over us, we’d remember that this is not who we are.
One way to tell that we are being our true selves is that we are usually not at the extremes of any emotion and we are generally at peace.
PS: I do not believe in good or evil, however I believe some things are simply just not in our true nature. Not that they are bad, just that it’s not in us. Those things that instinctively we will not choose.
Choose love always.
Have a happy weekend ❤️🤩✌🏾